


One Centimeter Closer

by wartransmission



Category: Homestuck
Genre: High School AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-17
Updated: 2011-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-27 11:03:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/295117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wartransmission/pseuds/wartransmission
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know that awkward moment when you actually think that you could share your life with your best friend for forever (in a totally romantic way)? You know, that one moment when you’re both watching a movie [it’s actually pretty good!] about a girl and a boy who had their first loves with each other but they couldn’t end up together because life sucks and that sort of shit?? And then you’re suddenly sniffling, and he hands you the tissues and, well, it’s dark, but when you look at him you sort of think something along the lines of, “what if?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> that awkward moment when a fanfic is based on something that happened irl BUT HAHAHA NOT REALLY SOBS
> 
> ANYWAY, if anyone is curious about the movie they are watching, it's 5 Centimeters Per Second. Awesome film, guys. Honestly. [You might feel sad watching it tho, just a fair warning.]
> 
> Also I am sorry for the sudden suckish art in the middle because sobs i felt like drawing it and sharing??? errr, if it's a bad idea, i'll just delete it. >: If you guys have any questions [because I know I am a confusing storyteller!], go ahead and ask!

  


You know that awkward moment when you actually think that you could share your life with your best friend for forever (in a totally romantic way)? You know, that one moment when you’re both watching a movie [it’s actually pretty good!] about a girl and a boy who had their first loves with each other but they couldn’t end up together because life sucks and that sort of shit?? And then you’re suddenly sniffling, and he hands you the tissues and, well, it’s dark, but when you look at him you sort of think something along the lines of, “what if?”

“Dude, it’s okay to let it out, you know,” Dave tells you as you clutch the box of tissues to your chest. You grumble in return, your eyes going back to the screen of Dave’s computer as the girl waves goodbye to her best friend.

“It fucking sucks, Dave,” you whine as you wave the box of tissues in the direction of the screen. Dave laughs as you half-muster a laugh as well. “Because- because- it _sucks._ Life _sucks_. Why can’t people just, end up together and be happy?? Why make everything so _difficult, man._ ” You sniffle again as the moment on screen fades away and goes to episode two.

“That’s life, bro. How will the world get by without people getting woeful as fuck?” He says. You scowl again as you slap him on the knee. He snickers. “C’mon, don’t be such a miserable tool. You’ll find someone eventually.”

“What if I _don’t_? I’ll just be a miserable old geezer in the future, and I’m gonna die alone. Sad, Dave. It’s that sad.” You groan as you stuff your mouth with chips.

  


“You’re a drama queen, you know that? You’re just sixteen, we’re barely even in college yet,” Dave retorts as he grabs some of the chips from the bowl, “calm your tits, man. It’s not the end of the world yet.”

“Fuck this shit,” you sniffle as you slam the box of tissues onto the computer table. Dave barely looks at it in favor of laughing at your misery. “Look at that, man. Fucking look at that. That is what happens when you’re a dipshit in love. That is what fucking happens.” You make a flailing motion at the screen as another girl fosters a crush on the leading man of the film. She’s already crying into her pillow a few minutes into it.

“But. But, you know,” you sniffle weakly as you nibble on a chip, “I’d like to know how it feels like to hurt like that, because I was in love with someone."

“Didn’t you say that you already felt something like that before, with that girl?”

“No man, that was just a crush, I meant being actually _in love_ ,” you mumble as you pat his leg. He snickers. “I want to know how that feels like.”

“You’ll find someone eventually,” he tells you. You both look at each other for a while, silent, before you both burst into a pathetic mockery of sobbing. Dave is already snickering halfway through it and you’re snorting laughter as you press your face into his knees. He just pats your head in pseudo-comfort.

“Mm, but you know what the thing is about stories like these?”

“No, what?”

“It’s that they never found anyone else,” you say with your chin propped up on Dave’s knees, eyes looking at the screen, “they never _tried._ They just stood and waited, they never thought about the other people around them or the chances they could have taken with other people. They just let the feelings fester until it grew and the pain that started off as a small bruise became an ICU kind of thing and, yeah. Sucks.”

“Never thought you to be the type of guy to take Philosophy, Egbert.”

“Shush now.” You huff as you look back at the screen. Some tears start up again though they never fall when the episode ends with the girl looking out into space, saying, “ _Desperately, recklessly reaching our hands to the sky, launching something so massive, staring at something so far away you can’t even imagine. I think I understood then why he was so different from other people and at the same time I knew without a doubt, he was definitely not looking at me._ ”

“But it’s agreed?”

“What?” You wipe at your eyes, removing yourself from Dave’s knees to sit back in your chair. You prop a leg up instead next to Dave, bumping your knee into his.

“You’re gonna be my date to the prom.”

You laugh, wrapping your arms around his folded legs as you bury your face into his knees. “Well, _duh_ , who else would I have gone out with? Jade isn’t going because she’s gonna be with her boyfriend at the amusement park blocks away from the party, and Rose is going with Kanaya.”

“It’s decided then,” he nods as he wiggles his leg a tad. You laugh and pat him on the face. “Aw man, just think of all the jealous bitches.”

“Dude, I know,” you say as you pop some more chips into your mouth, “It is gonna be awesome. Good thing you’re going, though! I was planning on not going because, well, everyone else had their own group of friends, and it’d be awkward to hang out with Rose when she has a date, so I was just sort of waiting if you were gonna go and stuff.”

“Eager puppy, aren’t you? You should have asked me in the first place and you wouldn’t have had to worry so much.”

 _“Well_ I’m sorry if I didn’t think of it earlier. Jeez, can’t a guy forget things once in a while? Besides, I thought you had a date or something.”

“Strider’s gonna go solo from girls for now, so you’ll have to make do as my date, man.” He leans forward and ruffles your hair. “’sides, I think I’m gonna chill out from dating for a while. We both know how it goes.”

“Asshole. You’ve never had a date in your life.”

“Neither have you, dumbass.”

“Exactly.” You grin at him. “Can we go back to watching the movie now?”

“Your fault that we started chatting up a storm.”

“Shush.” You pat his cheek before turning your face back to watch the movie. Dave becomes silent as requested, turning his face to the side as you both watch the movie. It’s the last episode now, where the two leading characters already lead different lives. They don’t even talk to each other anymore.

You glance at Dave a bit before turning to watch the movie again. It’s all just showing flashbacks now, and you drift away for a bit. You’ve known Dave for a few years now, more than five, you think, and it’s awesome. Yeah, he can be a doofus sometimes, but aren’t you both? Wasn’t that the reason that you two are best bros in the first place? He can have his moments of cool, yeah, but with his best friend? Nope, no way, dude. This guy is pure dork. You forget the laugh bubbling in your throat when you notice the flashbacks again.

Would it ever be like this, if you ever fell in love with Dave? Would you ever cry on the phone with him because you broke a promise and couldn’t see him? Would his lips feel soft and would you feel like there are butterflies in your stomach if you tried to kiss him? Would he cry with you if the time comes that you have to go your separate ways again? Would he ever hold you close, tightly, because he never wants you to leave him?

The ending song starts up and the movie is over, and he says, “Aw shit, dude, no, that song _sucks._ Let’s stop it.”

“What? I think it’s okay,” you say as you nudge at him with your foot. He makes a face. “Okay, well, yeah, the singer’s voice sort of sucks,” you agree finally.

“See? Why couldn’t they have picked a better singer, honestly,” Dave murmurs as he turns the movie off. “I could have sung better than this.”

“You always say that, Dave,” you laugh as you remove your feet from his seat. “Give the guy a break, jeez. He’s just doing his job.”

“He fucking sucks at it,” Dave retorts. You laugh at his persistence.

“Yes, well,” you yawn, “I think I’m beat. You think the neighbours are gonna knock on the door anytime soon?”

“Let those bitches try.” Dave warns with an accompanying yawn. “Let’s listen to the recordings later, man.”

“Haha, yes,” you wipe your eyes dry with a tired grin, “but before that, can we like, sleep on the couch first? I think I might die if I don’t get some rest.”

“Yeah, sure, help yourself.” He shrugs as he closes the tabs on his computer, leaving one of his torrents downloading. He shuts down the monitor just as you’ve already settled yourself onto the couch, two pillows on your lap as you grin at him. He smirks back and walks over to you. “Where am I gonna sleep?”

“Well duh, on the couch.” You laugh as you scoot over to give him room. He plops down easily and shifts just a tad to make sure he won’t fall over. “Feel comfy?”

“Totally.” He yawns. “You sure you’re not feeling crowded or anything?”

“Nah, I’m good.” You grin as you pat his forehead, feeling just a bit special that he didn’t even bother to wear his shades today.  “Let’s go to sleep?”

“Mm, yeah, wait,” he reaches a hand up to your face, “let’s get these off first.” You then notice that your glasses are off of your face and on Dave’s coffee table as he smirks up at you. “Night, Egdork.”

“Shh, only sweet dreams now, David.” He scowls at the moniker and you laugh. He shakes his head at you but he closes his eyes anyway, quickly slipping away into slumber. You follow soon after, eyes fluttering closed with the image of Dave asleep being your last.

You guess (even with the rapid beating of your heart up to your throat, even with the fluttering and sickening feeling in your stomach, even with your shaking fingers brushing against Dave’s hair as you watch him) you’ll never know what it’s like to be in love with him.


	2. Wonderwall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL FUCK SAD ENDINGS GUYS

TG: here i am honest to god asking for advice

TG: and you keep giving me shit

CG: WELL IF YOU’D STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKASS MAYBE IT WOULDN’T BE AS SHITTY AS YOU’D THINK IT IS

CG: HOW THE HELL ELSE DO YOU THINK YOU’D LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU ARE FLUSHED FOR HIM??

TT: He’s telling the truth, Strider. The best way to let him know would be to tell him directly.

TG: fuck

TG: you guys think its so easy dont you

TG: you dont fucking understand

TG: how much i want to ram my head into a wall right now reminiscent to that of a goat on a fucking rampage

TG: its hard to tell him

TG: its fucking hard and you dont understand

TT: I know how it feels, Strider.

TT: You seem to be forgetting that I was the one in the same situation as you before?

TG: well shit

CG: STOP BEING SUCH A SELF-CENTERED ASSHOLE, STRIDER.

CG: YOU JUST HAVE TO TELL HIM. WE’RE NOT TOO MUCH DOUCHEBAGS THAT WE’D LET YOU DO SOMETHING WITHOUT PROPERLY BACKING YOU UP.

CG: FUCK, I COULD EVEN PAY YOU IF YOU GET DUMPED.

CG: THAT WAS A FUCKING JOKE.

TG: fuck you too kk

TG: so ill just go over to him

TG: swag and all

TG: and go something like

TG: “hey egbert i think you are a fucking doofus and i dont know why im friends with you sometimes but i am ridiculously in love with you anyway”

TG: yeah sure sounds legit

TT: dave??

TT: i had to hijack rose’s account for a sec and

TT: errr, dave, i’m not angry or anything!! so don’t go offline yet!

TT: but, um, can we please talk?

 

“Fuck,” you groan with your face in your shaking hands. “ _Fuck._ ”

 

You never thought it would come down to this. You never thought he’d have the chance to even _know._ And now, because Lalonde and Vantas are being such intrusive assholes, John just fucking found out. Done. Finito.

 

Shit. _Shit._ Fuck. You could kill yourself right now, holy shit, why the fuck did you have to ruin everything with your stupid fingers? You shouldn’t have even joked or anything, fuck, you shouldn’t have even tried to ask those two for advice at all. You could have gone on with life without even thinking about this shit; hell, you could have pretended that your stupid-ass feelings didn’t even exist. _Why?_

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering  turntechGodhead[TG] \--

 

EB: sorry, i had to get on my account first!

EB: err, about that thing in the chatbox,

EB: was that true? and not an irony thing or some shit?

 

Fuck. Could you pull off lying about it?

 

TG: nope

TG: hard truth

TG: i am so fucking in love with you it hurts

TG: i might as well die in the process

TG: but yeah

TG: just tell me no and ill go on my way and ill never bother you again

 

There goes that idea.

 

EB: what??

EB: who says i’m going to reject you?

TG: well i seem to recall that you said something about not being a homosexual before

EB: ok, i admit i may have been hasty in saying that.

EB: but, you know, you’re my best bro!

TG: and what

TG: doesnt that make shit more awkward

EB: well, in some cases, yes!

EB: but

EB: i don’t think i’d mind the possibilities with you, you know.

EB: i don’t even know why you guys keep thinking i’m so close-minded about things like these, really.

TG: so

TG: what

TG: tell me straight the fuck out what you mean bro because holy shit

TG: you do not know how much i am fucking panicking rn

EB: chill out!! geez, dave, there is nothing to panic about!

EB: breathe in, breathe out. relaaaax.

EB: so

EB: how exactly does one date one’s best friend?

TG: what

 

You practically choke on air when you see the words being typed out on your screen. You must be hallucinating. That must be it. No way in hell is Egbert saying yes to dating you.

 

EB: that’s a yes to me dating you, strider! get with the program!

 

 _Holy fucking shit what the fuck oh god._

TG: what

TG: the fuck

TG: if you are kidding me i swear to god i will strangle you and it will not be a pleasant matter bro

EB: why the fuck would i kid about this??

EB: i honestly want to date you!

EB: even if you are a doofus, dave.

TG: says the kid who wears ghostbusters jammies to sleep

EB: says the guy who still calls pjs jammies!

TG: touché egbert

EB: shhh, it’s okay to admit that you lose sometimes.

EB: but!!

EB: can i admit something to you?

TG: if its one of your kinks well damn i think you might be going a bit too fast with this bro

EB: dave, this is something very serious.

TG: then stop stalling and spill

EB: errmmm, how long exactly have you had this thing for me?

TG: well fuck you could have told me earlier that we were gonna play 20 questions

EB: dave just answer the fucking question!

TG: two years

TG: approximately

TG: not counting the pining thing over the internet

EB: oh.

TG: yes oh

TG: fucking oh

EB: well now i feel bad.

EB: ):

TG: why

TG: not exactly your fault that im a loser who has a thing for his best friend

EB: i never said you were a loser!

EB: it’s just that, well, i sort of entertained thoughts about dating you too??

EB: and i thought it was stupid, until you said that thing earlier,

EB: so now i’m relieved!

EB: and i also feel bad because wow i never noticed that you liked me for that long. good thing you didn’t get tired of me, though!

TG: yes

TG: wait

TG: what

EB: ehehehe.

TG: egbert what

EB: i am curious kitten who likes to think about things i shouldn’t think about, hush now.

TG: wait so youre saying youve sort of had a thing for me too for a while

TG: is that it

EB: yes!

TG: oh

TG: shit

TG: fuck you for making me worry like a dipshit

EB: hey, no fair!

TG: also

TG: i love you.

 

You stifle the ridiculous smile threatening to bloom on your face at how long it takes for Egbert to respond. You can’t believe how bad you’ve got it, shit.

 

EB: derp.

TG: goodness gracious ive managed to put an end to john egberts din with three words

TG: news flash the world may be ending soon everyone grab your loved ones and run for cover

EB: ffff

EB: shush!

EB: i’m not too sure about me being in love with you too yet, and you already know the thing with me and falling in love.

TG: yeah

TG: sokay

EB: but.

TG: but what

EB: i don’t think i’d mind if you’re the one who teaches me how to fall in love!

TG: holy

TG: shit

TG: really john

EB: shut up gosh i know it’s embarrassing me too!! geeeeez.

TG: no fuck that shit man

TG: that was horrible

TG: and incredibly sappy

TG: i think youre just making me hope now

TG: you asshole

EB: nooooooo

EB: dave you can’t reject me! D:

TG: why the fuck not

EB: i haven’t even started courting you yet.

TG: what

EB: and i want to try embarrassing you when you’re already my boyfriend.

TG: the fuck

EB: dave i think i might be in love with you already but i can’t tell because feelings are confusing.

 

Whoa, whoa,

 

 _what. John, what._

EB: and i need to let rose use her computer again because she still hasn’t finished her homework.

EB: i’ll come over soon!

EB: be prepared, strider.

 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering  turntechGodhead[TG] \--

 

 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering  turntechGodhead[TG] \--

 

EB: <3!

 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering  turntechGodhead[TG] \--

 

 

This has got to be the most idiotic thing you have ever gotten yourself into. You can’t even believe that things can go so well so easily like this. There must be some payback.

 

But for now, you’re going to enjoy it while you can. You’ll just have to ignore the haters, as well as your Bro who is currently teasing you for the stupid grin on your face.

 

**Author's Note:**

> HEADCANON TIME!!
> 
> I get the feeling that John would be that kind of kid who, although he looks and is very affectionate, likes to think that he isn't in love yet. He likes to fantasize about fluffy shit like that, what would it be like if he had a special person in his life and stuff, but he never actually dares to say that he's in love with anyone. Not yet, anyway. This is also the case in this fanfic, if you get my drift. As long as he doesn't say he's in love with anyone, then he's not in love!


End file.
